On Friends

I find myself remembering a lot of old friends today. Heightened demands at work/research seem to make my mind so much more unpredictable, and all sorts of interesting thoughts, quotes and people pop up more frequently than otherwise.

So how do you decide who is a good friend of yours, someone you can count on? According to one, very highly trusted friend of mine, it is really simple — keep track of people you see in your dreams. Seeing a friend in a dream is a reasonably rare occurence, and should help you find out who you subconsciously trust, and love. Someday, when I have the time, I will make a list of friends I have seen in dreams. And yes, I see some people in dreams that I have never seen in real life. Am I alone in this? – I would think not.

Another wise friend introduced me to the concept of circles of relationships, with you anointing friends to a circle of people whose opinion really matters to you. Anything said by anyone outside the circle should then have no influence about how you judge yourself, and does not, in effect, form part of the feedback loop that we all need to live in this world.

There is another related thought I had when I walked in the rain towards the department building. I remember the circumstances, what the thought was about (about something “automatic” and how it is remarkable that when “a” is “missing”, things automatically roll back to “b”, or some such), and who I was thinking of when that thought occured. I can’t remember the thought, and I feel sad, since I cannot share it with you. Strangely enough, I am also afraid I might have thought a neat thought forever — do you ever get this feeling? In the normal scheme of things, come tomorrow, the thought, and the memory of it, will be history, and I won’t know what I lost, or that I lost it. This post, though should remind me that I had this thought, with the words in quotes I mentioned above, and maybe, tomorrow, when I read this, I will remember it again.

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2 Responses to On Friends

  1. ali b says:

    The only way to know someone is to go through some intense life-affirming/threatening experience. People are different under pressure, out of their comfort zone. I guess that’s why some people (like my mother) seem more attatched to characters on television than people in real life.

  2. tomas says:

    I agree with Ali – the one thing to remember though is that time changes everything – and those that you depended upon and called friend aren’t static. They change, they grow, and sometimes – they outgrow you (or vice versa).

    I have a very, very small circle of *friends* – but I am surrounded by a lot of nice folks that I like to do stuff with. Only a handful of that circle are folk that I want to have to count on for any support beyond say meeting me for lunch somewhere close to where *they* work 😉

    More than my dreams – my *friends* are the ones that my thoughts turn to naturally. The ones that I want to include when I have a good idea – or find something that touches off the nostalgia machine deep in me-noggin.