Qualifying Exam

I have to write my Ph.D. qualifying exam on the 2nd of April. Mot much time left, so not surprisingly, this occupies most of my time and mind. I have to study a few subjects, and a quick look at the previous years’ question papers show that the same questions, or the same type of questions repeat periodically.
This in itself should be reason for one to be happy, but I am worried. What if this time is the time they decide to not repeat old questions or topics again? That would mean a very difficult set of questions and this gives me nightmares.
Preparation so far has involved me reading the textbooks and understanding concepts, and brushing up problem solving techniques. I wish I could dedicate myself 100% to studying for the qualifiers, but I can’t, since I also have to complete a project, a paper, and I have to do the regular coursework associated with the two courses I am taking this semester, one of which is a killer, and I have to teach the undergrads. All this means one thing – no fun this spring break.
Surprisingly, I see that as I grow older, I have little interest in preparing well for the exams I write. I have never been good at scoring at exams, though, outside the exam hall, I won’t have a problem solving the numericals or explaining concepts to others. Added to that, now I have a very short attention span when it comes to actually studying methodically for an exam. I am doing the best I can, and I hope for the best.
I like to play with my website when I can, and it has really become a hobby, something that gives pleasure, and something which I can do for hours on end without tiring. I love it when something finally works, and everything is beautiful and structured.
Now I have to get back to studying. Its a bright and sunny day outside, and the mind can’t help reminiscing about how similar days in the past were spent in the company of friends and nature. For now, I sacrifice the pleasure of “now”, for the anticipated pleasure of success in the examination.