Carthik Sharma

So where have I been lately? – Largely offline. A week’s break from the computer world, after yet another semester, chillin’ in the winter break.

I saw the Return of the King, first day, and it brings closure and completion.

In the last semester, I made three “A”s, the influence of a loved one is suspected. This is not surprising, since this was the least taxing semester, also one that I took easy. I will never forget the first ever semester in the US. All that effort and the two As and a B that ensued.

I went to a bookstore, Books-A-Million, and, after a long time, felt the urge to buy books, but I resisted, an act made easy by a light wallet. Talking about light wallets, its never been lighter — not that it matters too much. I love life, for once, and its cold in Orlando.

I sleep, and in my waking hours
I dream of sleep.
I am tired of sleep, and so
I sleep some more, tired.

Laters.
(yes, I watched “Snatch”, in which Brad Pitt is a Pikey.)

I also watched “Frida” and I must say its the most colorful movie, with each scene and shot good enough to be a still photograph of the highest artistic content. Breathtaking cinematography. What Colors!

When I walked up four stories, four years ago, to this place which taught computer programming, I was not too hopeful of having a good time. Such places are a dime a dozen in Trivandrum, my hometown. I finally reached the top floor, and there, on the landing, I saw a pin cushion board with clippings off the internet, and I actually spent about 15 minutes reading the interesting posts, jokes, etc. Then I walked in, hoping to meet yet another stereotypical programming tutor, and instead I met this intelligent looking guy.
He got his bachelors in electrical engineering, or was is computer science?, from IIT Kanpur. Then he went to the United States, to get his Masters from Michigan (Michigan Tech.). Then, after pottering around there for a while, he came back to India, to join ER&DC, a government firm, and then he hit it out on his own with this joint that offered computer programming courses.
He must have been 30-ish when I took the C programming course that summer. He drove an old Bajaj scooter, wore Bata slip-on shoes and had short hair, but there was no hiding the intelligence in his eyes.
The first question that arose in my mind was, “Why is this guy here, in a small time computer programming training institute, when he is very intelligent, has gone to IIT and has a Masters from the United States?”. He lived a simple life, you could say by looking, and he was a very very good teacher. He used to stop after every five minutes, and ask, “Any Questions?”. That was a novelty, and he knew everything he was teaching, and gave us good assignments.
He made programming look simple.
At that point in time, I was just starting to take coming to the U.S. seriously and so I asked him for direction. He said, “Oh, these days, if someone can’t find anything to do in India, they end up going to the US. Its the easy way out.” I was surprised, since I thought going to the U.S. was difficult and something worth a lot of effort. He went on to describe how pathetic life in the U.S. is, all with a good sense of humour. He was telling me about how Indians used to drive a ridiculously long distance just to get a $5 haircut, and how the “rich” Indians in New York buy a good car, only to leave it in the drive way to take a bus or train to work, to avoid parking fees, and so on.
“I was not happy there, and I find I am happier here, this way.” So thats why he came back. By conventional standards, he was not succesful, but there was something about the man that made you feel that he was very happy, and contented, and at peace with his life, that was reassuring.
Why do I write this now, because yesterday, in my bed, I was trying to remember the people I had met in my life who I thought were successful and lived good, successful lives. I remembered him first, and thought about the things he told me, what I thought of them then, and now, now that I am in the United States.

Finally the list of hundred things is complete. It was an interesting exercise, took a long time, and I realize that, on retrospection, a lot of things I used to think were unique about me when I was a kid are not anymore, to the adult me.

Sleep, Sexuality, Childhood and unfulfilled wishes were the most recurrent themes in my minds when I was making up this list. I also stopped myself from writing a lot of things I am proud of, only because I will hate myself later for seeming to be boastful. So these are the shells I grew out of, some still around and kicking. They dont describe me completely and yet, an old friend could derive pleasure from some entries in this list. My resolution to avoid naming individuals in my blog/website/whatever also meant I stopped short of writing down a few memorable things, but thats okay.

I watched Tom Cruise’s “The Last Samurai” today, and I cried like a baby at the theatre. Towards the end, I had to, and when I cry, I know the movie was good. It was not good, at all, it was great. I mean great as a means of expressing a superlative achievement in art, not as an interjection, or “how-are-you-doing? — great!” kind of great.
It makes me want to grow roots again, and be respectful of my tradition.
It makes me rue the fact that, far from fighting like a man, I don’t even go to the gym regularly.
It makes me bow my head with the collective shame that comes from being a human being, for whose pleasure the past has worked meticulously and mercilessly to build a “better”, more “convenient” world, for humans’ greed, of which I am guilty too, considered alone.
I did not quite feel the chill in the air after I came out of the theatre, though I was wearing only a shorts and a thin white T shirt. I shivered sitting in the car. The movie was that good. Go watch it, and if you regret not being born earlier, or as in Japan, China or Korea, then know that you are not alone.

Tom Cruise is a alcoholic captain in the US, who is a hired mercenary to suppress “native” rebellions, hired by the Japanese to suppress Samurais, and in Japan he finds redemption.

Alright, So I could not resist taking yet another quiz. This one makes sense, so I post it for the world to see.
For the record, I never can make up my mind nowadays, whether my favorite color is red or blue. I love both.
Enjoy!

I started working on writing a 100 things about myself.
I got stuck at 30.
So help me, if you know me, by telling me about me.

How gross and unimaginative can I get, eh?
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