Dr.Damla Turgut Wished me good luck in the ongoing hunt for an advisor. i love the incredulous look on folks’ faces when i tell them that i am a Ph.D. student with a fellowship, yet without an advisor. I dont know whats gonna came of me, if i dont get an advisor soon. this ridiculous school gave me a fellowship without having anything in mind for me. If they did know that no faculty member was interested in me, why did they give me a fellowship? soon, i will become more of a useless fellow. Dr.Dmara, another faculty member , has asked me to meet him next monday. nothing new about that, he asks me to meet him every week, but last monday i told him that this cant go on forever, so , perhaps, he might decide to say no too, on monday, and that will be a defining moment.
please dont reply, if only to say its alright, or that it will get better. i know it will get better, and that everything is ok…
i just hate to act like a sycophant and lick asses. the lengths some people go to get an assistantship really makes me feel bad. like washing swimmin pools, and sticking around all the time, behaving like slaves. i dont have to do any of that, and i wont. what kind of “meritocracy” is this? , where the guy with the least self respect wins. a senior told me, even if a professor asks you to get out or vanish one day, you should keep visiting him everyday, until he takes you in. how can someone with any amount of self respect, and respect for another person’s time and word, do that? sometimes i think its no wonder that the indian students are not generally well liked in the department.
i have to say though that Dr.Demara and Dr. Turgut are above board and they really are the two best profs in the dept. they have been kind to me.
Dr.Turgut took over two hours to patiently explain why she cant hope to support me. maybe its just that i am no networks guru, and she can easily get new grad students who are already well versed in it. besides she doesnt have any projects.
Dr.Demara has been very kind, and i am sure he will help me out in every way possible. i choose to deal with such folks. i can do with less of the other kind in my life…