Carthik Sharma

i got mad at myself,

Saturday, November 9, 2002

i got mad at myself, so i cycled all the way to walmart and bought all kinds of things, like a zippo lighter, and tennis racquet grips (for the cold metal handle of my bike). then there was this birthday party, my roommate’s actually. i am a drunk, i danced like a fool, and i will get nowhere in life, and the worst part is, that seems to be my ambition. She was right when she said “you havea strong self destructive streak” i am going to hell. oh fuck even thats not for sure, who knows if theres hell….i dont know, and so i dont beleive….i dont know if i will be succesful and therefore i dont beleive i will be “succesful”. but if i decide to ne the perfect “failure” and do just that, does that make my life a “success”? shut up and go to sleep , my friendly neighbourhood devil advises me, and i will follow his advice. the drinks are wearing off, and i better go to sleep, and avoid the pain of thinking in that state where i am netiher drunk nor sober. pathetic. life.

Filed by Carthik at 4:27 am under Livejournal

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i got mad at myself,

Saturday, November 9, 2002

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