Sad Day

Dr.Demara, who (still) holds so much hope in his wide , expressive, thoughtful, cheerful eyes, told me , in the nicest way possible that he wouldnt be able to support me through my PhD. He agreed to be my “academic” advisor, said he could not promise to help me with my research, since he already has many students under his wing, and positively confirmed that he cant find me any funding. Sad.

All of which leaves my future in limbo.

plans for the future:

1)stick around in UCF , hoping to find work as a Teaching Assistant next year too (chances are 50-50, or even a bit on the pessismistic side)

2)hope that the Program Coordinator says i can teach classes by next fall(right now only folks with an MS, or those who have completed some 24 odd credit hours, can actually teach an undergrad class)

3)hope some professor in some university will support me as a research assistant. seems like i will have to go through the painful application process again, and then again, the situation is more or less the same at other univs too (no funds for incoming students)

the reason why i havent started applying already is because i am still trying to find an answer as to whether i should apply for a phd with an emphasis on

a) computer architecture

b) computer science

or

c) cognitive science – now most cog sci programs are offered by psychology departments, so i wonder if they will support an engineer, and also whether it is really good for me. my father / relatives wouldnt like it, since its not “engineering” and so the job prospects post-phd are bleaker. I know that i find reading about things related to the human thought process interesting, but i dont know if its the right thing for me.

i like computers a lot, but i think i wil find something realted to the arts much more satisfying, but i have nothing to back up this feeling that i have.

people who know me, or even those who dont know me, but who have some kind of idea after reading this, please let me know which one would be better for me,*computers or cognition?* I hate to ask this question, but what would YOU do if you had to take up something entirely new at the age of 24, and you dont know if you will ever be any good at it, you just have this feeling that its what you want to do. hell, i dont even have a very good idea about the risks involved in taking this plunge, if i take it!

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